My Reasons

A couple of days ago, a reporter left me a message asking for my reasons for shifting institutional affiliations next academic year. Being too busy with end-of-semester business, I didn't return the call, but I thought I should answer. So here are my top 11 reasons (11 is one louder.):

11. The pattern on the carpet in my Columbia office is driving me mad. Mad, I say.

10. I'm not convinced that the special salad dressing I requested is really vegan.

9. Global warming.

8. I'm protesting President Bollinger's uncivil treatment of President Ahmadinejad.

7. I was told that dogs roam free on the Cornell campus.

6. Mike Bloomberg won't be mayor forever, you know.

5. I had such high hopes for the Knicks this season, but they've been dashed once again.

4. The paparazzi.

3. Why can't we all just get along?

2. With Noah Feldman gone from NYU, the faculty Dean's Cup game is no longer worth risking permanent injury.

1. The coffee in the faculty lounge has become simply undrinkable.

Posted by Mike Dorf