Saturday, April 11, 2020

A Day in the Life of a Pandemic: Law Prof Style

By Eric Segall

[Disclaimer: So far my family has not been hit with the Virus nor do my wife and I have jobs where we have been hurt economically. I don't mean to make light of all the catastrophe around us. This post in no way is intended to be insensitive to the desperate plight of others.]


A Day in the Life:

8:00: Open eyes very slowly, hope beyond hope both the Pandemic and Trump are just terrible nightmares. Realize they are not. Close eyes and go back to bed.

8:01: Ponder hiding under the sheets all day since my kids seem to be thriving independently during the pandemic, and in any event, wife has things under control as usual (she’s already downstairs doing virtual yoga or personal training or some such thing before her work day starts). Stay under the sheets.

8:09: Realize 8:01 plan is not viable. Groggily pick up phone to narcissistically see what’s happening on Twitter. Try to avoid any Trump tweets. Check e-mail, Facebook, and weather. Nothing seems urgent. Go back to bed.

8:32: Rise slowly, go check on kids who tell me they are all good getting ready for on-line classes and eating Lucky Charms. Peek into wife’s office and see that she is upside down in some pose I couldn’t do without breaking my body--observe some woman on computer screen encouraging wife to do more of whatever it is she is doing. Turns out woman on phone is Valerie, yoga teacher extraordinaire, and wife of my friend Pete Dominick.

8:45: Eat Lucky Charms after thinking about but then not eating a pop tart. This was a reasonably big decision.

9:00-11:00: Prepare to post lectures for Con Law II and Federal Courts. I hate lecturing though and this is extremely painful. During this time, also tweet randomly, see how annoyed I am by Jonathan Adler’s tweets, and check to see how amused I am by Scott Shapiro’s tweets.

11:05-11:30: Check on kids, kiss wife, wrestle with Sweeney the yellow lab, give Lucy the black lab some belly rub, eat a pop tart (one, not two, even though package has two, pat myself on my own round belly for my great self-control).

11:30-12:45: Take long walk, listen to the funny and witty Dan Le Batard show on ESPN, think about blog post topics, general con law stuff, and otherwise escape the world of Trump and the Virus unless aforesaid directly relates to a con law topic I’m thinking about.

Also 11:30-12:45: While “doing” all of the above, argue with Jonathan Adler or Chris Green on Twitter.

12:45: Eat Mac & Cheese for lunch, or maybe last night’s leftovers. See if kids have eaten, check on wife and dogs, It all seems calm. Tweet during lunch trying in vain to be funny or educational.

1:15: Nap (I’m 61 years old and since JFK napped at 40 while President, don’t you dare judge me).

2:15-4:15: Tape Lectures for classes. Hate every second of it.

4:15-5:15: Work on Blog post, article, or op-ed, tweet wildly, eat second pop tart. Wonder why the rest of the legal world thinks the Court is really a court.

5:15-6:15: Take walk with wife and dogs, smile knowingly at people on the street like we all now understand what an apocalypse is, go to Emory Quad where kids meet us, smile knowingly at people in the Quad like we all know what an apocalypse is. Walk home.

6:15-8:15: Help with dinner (translation, talk to wife while she cooks, maybe clean a bit along the way), have dinner with family, watch kids try to do the dishes.

8:15-10:15: Depending on day, play virtual bridge with friends in three states, watch TV with family, call friends or family living out of state, maybe watch news for 3-5 minutes because any longer is too much to bear.

10:15-8:00 am: Read, sleep, fail to sleep, sleep.

Rinse, repeat.

Epilogue: Wife says I can only post this is if I admit that the only differences between this life and my non-pandemic life are
1) Lucky charms and pop tarts
2) taped lectures
3) Kids and wife are home instead of at school and work


2 comments:

Joe said...

Justice Breyer is adapting -- Joan Biskupic posted a story (with a link) about him giving a zoom talk with four international students, including a reference to "The Plague."

https://www.cnn.com/2020/04/10/politics/stephen-breyer-zoom-coronavirus/index.html

Welch's Rarebits said...

LOL Loved this.