by Neil H. Buchanan
In three recent columns, I examined American conservatives' recently intensified bullying of weak and vulnerable people. At one point, I wrote that "toxic masculinity explains a great deal of the actions and views of today's Republican Party." The simplicity of that conclusion honestly surprised me -- as I put it there: "When I finished writing the first of those columns, I thought: 'Wait, is
that really all there is? Did I honestly just rediscover that toxic
masculinity is toxic, and that it has poisoned the American (and global)
right?'" -- but it would have been dishonest to avoid that conclusion merely because it was so obvious in retrospect.
After the third of those columns ran, I received an email with the subject line "Toxic Masculinity" that began with a friendly "Hello Professor Buchanan" and jauntily continued (in its entirety):
Just a note about your recent posts. Certainly toxic masculinity is a real phenomenon, and it certainly causes real problems. But it has always struck me as a sort of toxic-masculinity the tendency for some men to, with a peculiar righteous zeal, invoke toxic masculinity in diagnosing social problems. As if doing so makes them more evolved and enlightened: the moral preening of the neo-alpha, the “manly men” of coffee shops and feminist circles. There’s something parasitic and grossly indulgent about this. I’m not claiming that this is what you’re doing, but, while reading your posts, I couldn’t help but think about how easy it is to cross the line from a constructive invocation of toxic masculinity to something more vain and parasitic.
Thanks for your time,
Let me be clear that I absolutely, completely believe that this email was written in good faith and not at all disingenuously, so much so that I will refer to the person who sent it so me as GoodFaithEmailer. After all, he led off by agreeing that toxic masculinity is a real thing (before proceeding directly to the inevitable "But"), and after laying out his critiques, he helpfully added with all the sincerity in the world that he was "not claiming that this is what" I was doing. Which settles the matter, because he wrote that he was only saying that "reading your posts" made him think those thoughts. So it is not I who was showing an unseemly form of peculiar righteous zeal. It is only other people who would write what I wrote that might be described in that way.
GoodFaithEmailer signed off with his first name followed by his full name, along with his professional return address and credentials. This was helpful, because otherwise I would have assumed that the email had been sent by an especially precious, self-impressed 10th Grader with an overused thesaurus. I am not saying that that is true of GoodFaithEmailer, but rather that his email could not help but make a person think that it was written by a peculiar kind of adolescent who panics when called out for his immaturity. Luckily, GoodFaithEmailer did not say what he said about me, and what I am saying here is not about him. We are all just friends discussing why other people who call out toxic masculinity are or are not neo-alphas.
So let us consider the content of that not-at-all disingenuous email. Is calling out toxic masculinity merely another form of toxic masculinity? Are toxic masculinists rubber, while I'm glue, so whatever I say bounces off them and ... well, you get the idea? Oh wait, I should again be careful to say that I am not glue, only that people who argue what I have argued can easily
cross a line and become glue. Again, I believe it when
someone says that they are not saying anything about me, and I expect everyone to believe that I believe
it.
OK, now we can ask about the substance, such as it is, of the concern trolling expressed in that email toward people who are most assuredly not me.